Imagine How Awkward It Would Be:
No Longer Lovers - Still Coworkers… ARGH!

Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)

Imagine How Awkward It Would Be:
No Longer Lovers –  Still Coworkers…
ARGH!

Today’s video is a BONUS installment I’m inserting here, just before getting to all the fixes, to all of the 7 office romance BossProblems, we have enumerated thus far, which we will get to, next time.

This BONUS is designed to complete the gear shift we’ve made last time, from focusing exclusively on how your office romance screws up your chances for a promotion and/or a pay raise, to now also drilling down into your relationship itself.

Now, mind you, this is not a Dear Abby kind of Deck, but we would be remiss, if we do not to address the totality of the effects your office romance has on you, and that necessitates this gear shift, from your purely professional and monetary drives for a promotion and pay raise, to the strictly personal ramifications your office romance will have on you should it come to an end.

To have this complete 360 degree view this BONUS came to be.

Thus, today is about your heart and soul, rather than your job title and wallet. Not to belittle the latter. Just to define the focus for this video which is difference to all the rest on this Deck.

So, the BONUS, no. 8 office romance BossProblem is: What happens when it ends?
Please note, I did not say “if” it ends. I said “when” it ends. And I’m truly sorry to have to rain on your parade, but we’re all adults here, so we might as well face the reality that most good things come to an end.

It’s the natural cycle of life: The freshness, and exuberance, and beauty, of the blossom, the sweetness the ripe fruit [I’m getting very poetic here], then, the rot – pun very much intended – and, finally, the falling off the proverbial tree.

To add insult to injury, this whole sequence is unfolding before your very coworkers, and boss. They are the tabloid paparazzi, to your “Brangelina” love affair. And, just like with “Brangelina”, no Hollywood happily-ever-after ending, is guaranteed. Statistically speaking, the opposite is.

And that is not to say, that you two Schmoopie-s may not beat the odds. Of course you could, and I truly hope you would! After all, it does happen. Many a happy couple has found their Westley-Buttercup true love, at the office. [See, I was a poet there for a moment… now I’m back to my normal Remington Steele…]

It makes complete sense: This is where you spend most of your time, so this is where you get to profoundly know people ; And of this prolonged and profound acquaintance, sparks may fly ; And of those sparks, true love may evolve. Nevertheless, as the saying goes: While you hope for the best, you should prepare for the worst.

Now, “hoping” is no big deal – you can do it on your own. No skill or experience needed. It comes naturally to all of us, simply being a human.

Preparing for the worst, on the other hand, is all about skill and experience, which is where this Deck kicks in, which is why this BONUS is crucial.

In the context of getting a pay raise, which is all we do here, on this channel, it is probably not the kind of “bonus” you want. I totally get it. Who wants to drill down, into the very probable odds (or let’s make it more optimistic – the possible odds) of your office romance fizzling out, dissolving into a very awkward day-to-day at the office, at best, and an unbearable emotional grind, at worse – who wants that?

But, this is not some fluff, feel-good, Kumbaya, bullshit channel, but a realistic, pragmatic, tough love channel, so we do not pander to you, for your subscriptions and likes – though we obviously want and need them, to ride the algorithm. Instead, we go by what you actually need, based on our decades of professional skill and experience, to help you save both your career and your relationship. Which is why this BONUS is what it is.

So, if you acknowledge this – even begrudgingly so – and want to make sure you have all your bases covered, not leaving any stone unturned, stick around- it will worth your time! But if not, it’s OK skip this, and go directly here for the fixes, and I’ll see you then.

So, what does happen when your office romance ends? 5 things:

No. 1. You’re back to square one You come full circle to where you started off of – but not in a good way: Remember the first two office romance BossProblems we’ve covered? Those were (1) you are not focused on the job and (2) you become a distraction for others. Well, what happens with those two now, that your office romance is no more, depends on how you’ve dealt with them since they first started: If you’ve managed to control them by now, thus, they have subsided then, now there’s a relapse and they kick in once again.

If you have not managed to control them, thus, they have been present all along your office romance, now that it ends, they are exacerbated even further.

Obviously, this does not bode well to your chances for that promotion and/or pay raise you so want, which is not our focus today. But even from a pure personal perspective, your personal prospective, this puts an added burden on you, emotionally and mentally, on top of that of your breakup.

So, there’s the heartache of the break-up itself, which is then compounded by your presumably deteriorating performance, and then topped off by your diminishing chance to get ahead, (that stems from the previous two) – a Perfect Storm, of both career and personal life, that can easily throw you off the track, and for some time to come.

This is bad for any employee, but all the more so, for a highly driven one, such as yourself. Which is why, this crippling outcome, is something you should take into account, when you embark on an office romance. Actually it’s not so much “taking into account” per se, because falling in love is not a logical, calculated, behavior. It’s more about being “aware”. So just be aware of this possible outcome, as part of the bigger picture of being aware of the possible (or probable) break-up of your relationship.

The 2nd thing that happens, when your office romance ends, is:
2. You face the awkwardness (to say the least) of still having to work shoulder-to-shoulder with your ex-Schmoopie.
Navigating the day-to-day at the office was intricate enough when you were still together – now what? Even when your office romance ends – working together still continues, and this is a Petri dish for a zillion kinds of personal and professional entanglements:

The overt or covert tensions between you two ;
The awkwardness it causes with your coworkers (which is why you “come full circle” to becoming a distraction, all over again, as mentioned before) ;
The realignment of interpersonal cliques: for example whom of your mutual friends on the team, when you were a couple, is going with you, and whom is going with Schmoopie (who’s not your Schmoopie anymore), and whom is undecided, which adds yet another layer of awkwardness all around…

You know how it is – and you know it is so – I am not contriving, nor exaggerating.