part 1 of 6
Passed Over
For a Promotion
& Pay Raise:
What To Do
(and Not Do)
Right After
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part 1 of 6
Should I Quit?
What Not To Do
Right After Being
Passed Over For Promotion / Pay Raise:
The 4 DON'Ts
TLDR
(you’re welcome!)
You're an Idiot
if You Leave Right After
Being Passed Over
for a Promotion / Pay Raise !
watch / read to find out why
do NOT do these 4 things
right after being passed over for promotion / Pay Raise!
Passed Over for Promotion & Pay Raise:
What To Do (and Not Do)
Right After
to Get Another Shot
The Ultimate Guide
Should I Quit?
What Not To Do
Right After Being Passed Over For Promotion / Pay Raise:
The 4 DON’Ts
Who is this for?
If you’ve just been passed over for a promotion, and the pay raise that goes with it, or you have never even been considered – this is for you!
(Or maybe you are just wise and want to make sure this doesn’t happen to you – so all the more so – this is for you!)
I know you’re trying to wreck your brain around: “How was that loser promoted over ME???”
And I know you want to “eff” the whole thing off: The company, your boss, that LOSER who got YOUR promotion, the whole effing situation!
You want to slam the door in your idiot boss’s face and just walk away!
And there’s no denying that that will be soooo satisfying: Employees all over the world indulge in this very fantasy every single day, BUT, you know you shouldn’t, BUT, it’s really tempting, and you really want to, SO:
I’m going to give you the 4 biggest NO-NOs of what you should NOT do immediately after being passed over for a promotion, and the pay raise that goes with it;
OR, I guarantee – you will 100% mess up your career to a far greater degree than “just” this promotion you didn’t get!
What you should NOT do immediately after being passed over for promotion
(and the pay raise that goes with it)
Here are 4 things you should NOT do immediately after being passed over for a promotion, and the pay raise that goes with it.
the NUMBER ONE – literally and figuratively – is:
1. DO NOT LEAVE!
Do not threaten to leave, do not resign, do not slam the door and walk away in one of those grandiose gesture…
Why? Because you’re not going to be able to pull a George Costanza bit of quitting while storming out, then coming back on Monday as if nothing has ever happened, ok?
(Which is actually, as an aside, something Larry David, whom the character is base on, DID do, when working on Saturday Night Live, and it did work out for him, but hey, you’re not Larry David, either, ok?)
And I’m not saying you should stay there forever, of course not! But quitting now will de-rail your career, GUARANTEED!
And as a proof, I’m going to breakdown every possible realistic scenario that will unfold, the moment you succumb to this burning temptation to quit right now.
Just focus on the reasoning that I’m laying before you, so that you can make your own informed decision.
So, why not quit?
Here are the 3 exact reasons, why you shouldn’t quit right now:
a.You’re upset you’re not thinking straight
It’s like texting when you’re drunk, but worse.
You cannot make clear, good decisions, that will benefit you, when you are in a state.
Your reasoning faculties are deficient, or completely gone, no good can come of it, so… not the time make life-altering decisions like quitting!
b. You’re not that rich that you don’t need a salary
Yes, you’ve lost the pay raise that came with that promotion you were passed over for, and I know it’s heart wrenching, but what about your current salary?
What about your current pay?
Are you so willing to just waiver it away?
So carelessly?
Are you insane?
Do you have some other money stashed away somewhere for you can fall back on???
Come on…
c. Resigning when you are down, will 100% sabotage your career!
Resigning when you are down, and you are down right now, will 100% sabotage your chances of landing another job, especially a good one!
And this is true for both the short and long term.
How so?
Well, resigning right now, that you are down, will sabotage your chances of landing another job, especially a good one, in three ways, no less:
[here’s my crystal ball reading]
I. You don’t make a “sexy” candidate or applicant, when you are demoralized:
You’re not that good of an actor, we’ve already established that (remember George Costanza / Larry David?).
Your low spirits, and you’re under-mined confidence and self-esteem, will absolutely shine through, which is not the kind of shine you want!
II. You won’t be able to have an appealing reply to basic questions regarding your previous workplace
And you know these questions are the staples at any job interview, so they will definitely come up!
(And for a good reason by the way:
it is absolutely understandable, for a potential new employer, to want to know how you did with a previous one).
III. The more time you’re unemployed, the more this situation will worsen
Why?
Because your soul will have been broken by that time.
And worse yet:
you will have (potentially) accepted a much lesser job, just to pay the bills!
Need proof?
Still?
OK.
Let’s do a thought experiment.
Say you’ve resigned – you’ve fulfilled this fantasy.
You went into your boss’s office,
and told him or her, to their face,
just what you thought of them,
and the whole fucking company,
and that loser that got your promotion,
and how you’re not going to take it any longer,
and how they don’t deserve you,
and how you can do so much better elsewhere…
and you stormed out!
Great.
Good for you.
You can now, safely, go down in history,
as we one employee who did it!
Actually did it!
You will be the hero of millions all over the workforce.
And not merely nationally, but internationally!
But once you are done signing all those autographs…
then what?
Well, obviously you’re looking for a job, right?
So, to continue this thought experiment,
imagine yourself sitting across from the HR recruiter –
how would that play out?
How would that go, when she asks you:
– why did you leave? (a basic fair question to ask)
– what was your position there?
– (and after you answer) really? You’ve been there that many years with no promotion? How so?
– and the all-time pièce de résistance question of any job interview, ever:
what will your ex-boss say about you?
Hmm… What indeed…
So, what are you going to reply?
“I left because they passed me over for a promotion,
because they thought I wasn’t worthy of the pay raise,
and that higher position in the company,
and now I come here,
for you to take me in,
like you’re some sort of a
Workforce Statue Of Liberty:
‘give me your tired,
your poor,
your huddled masses…
the wretched refuse’…”
Do you want to be a “wretched refuse”?
Do you think HR recruiters want to hire other organizations’ “wretched refuse”???
Really?
And going on with this thought experiment, just a little bit more:
What about when she actually calls your boss?
(Well, your ex-boss by then).
When she actually calls your boss to ask for feedback about your performance and the terms you left on?
Your (ex) boss will be bound to admit the truth,
even if they like you, and want to help.
The truth, both about having preferred someone else over you for a promotion,
AND about the scene you caused when you quit (remember George Costanza?)
In short:
Do not leave your current job, immediately after being passed over for promotion, and the pay raise that goes with it!
Okay okay
you've managed to scare me...
what else you got?
Well, I’m glad I did,
and I’m glad you asked.
A quick reminder:
There are 4 things you should NOT do immediately after being passed over for a promotion, and the pay raise that goes with it.
We’ve covered the NUMBER ONE one,
so let’s get to No. 2 –
I can already tell you:
It’s not going to be much prettier…
The second “don’t” is:
2. DO NOT GIVE AN ULTIMATUM!
“If I don’t get a promotion (and the pay raise that goes with it) within 6 months – I’m out ‘ta here!”
Of course you would say it in a nice way, but it will still be an ultimatum.
Why "thou shan't give an ultimatum"
There are the 2 reasons why “thou shan’t give an ultimatum”:
a. You have no wiggle room!
Think about it:
What would this ultimatum be, exactly?
To make an ultimatum (or rather win one), you need to have something substantial, that the other party wants, and can’t have otherwise –
We have already established that this is not the case with you, at this time:
Dude, you were just passed over for a promotion AND a pay raise!
Meaning you were just deemed,
by your boss or employer as not worthy!
(Or at least less worthy, than the one who got it).
Less worthy of being in a higher, better position, better paying position;
A position that would enable you more control over people, processes, results, and budgets…
Does this sound to you like having the “upper hand”?
(And just in case rhetorical questions escape you – the answer is: NOOOO!
A resounding NOO!)
You do not have the upper hand,
so you do not get to give an ultimatum, and if you do, you will be crushed!
You will be humiliated!
Why? Because your boss will reply
(and rightfully so)
with something like: “Okay, so quit!”
After which you will either have to take the dare and indeed quit, when you didn’t really want to, and are completely unprepared for, with all that that entails, as we’ve already covered;
OR, you will have to grovel your way out of it, which means you are now,
not only humiliated,
but also have no chance of ever getting any promotion in that workplace!
E-V-E-R.
Thus, you will have dug yourself into a hole.
And not just any hole, mind you. Oh, no. A h-u-g-e one!
To quote the incomparable Pretty Woman herself:
Big mistake. Big. Huge!
[It is very important to make sure, you always draw the most substantial advice you ever need, from Hollywood movies].
And just going for the kill here,
as I’m afraid you might miss my subtle address:
You will be doomed to see the backs of all your juniors, being promoted over you, for all eternity!
Which is the worst case scenario, you could have possibly created for yourself!
Much much worse than “just” being passed over, this once,
which was your original predicament,
before you decided to play Macho!
You're not helping me feel any better, you know...
I'm depressed enough as it is...
This is not about “making you feel better“.
This is about saving your career!
Literally, saving your livelihood!
And this, I can assure you, will be accomplished, by the time you graduate this Masterclass.
(Preferably, all six parts of it).
Apropos:
Our method is a tough love one. And if you can’t handle the truth [channeling jack Nicholson], then this is not for you.
But, for those of you who can handle the truth, and better yet, WANT to:
We are 100% here for you, and we will absolutely see you through this predicament you are in!
Read more about that, here
Onward and upward, then!
Where were we? Ah, yes:
Why "thou shan't give an ultimatum" - continued
The second reason why you shouldn’t give an ultimatum is:
b. The wise give an ultimatum,
only when they are certain they’re going to win it!
(Or at least the odds are in their favor,
and you know it’s quite probable that the other side will back up,
and you will get what you want.)
This is the only circumstance in which an ultimatum may succeed.
But even then, it is very likely to put you in a bind in the longer run, which I’ll address in a moment.
This is, however, not the circumstance you are in, my friend. You are in the diametrical opposite corner, because of all that being-passed-over business…
When thou MAY give an ultimatum"
As we’ve just seen, you may chose to give an ultimatum, only when they are certain you are going to win it, or at least the odds are in your favor.
Now, suppose you do have a bit of an edge over your boss or employer, some “upper hand” – what would that be?
It would have to be some very unique professional knowledge or acumen, that is either unique in your field as a whole, or specifically at your company.
Why?
Because that would make you harder to replace! Altogether, or, in a bind. Especially in a bind.
The bind being (looking at it from your company’s perspective) :
Either the fact that your resignation is a surprise to the company (as it is to you);
Or that they have some pending tight deadlines for delivery to clients;
Or that the company is otherwise stressed:
Maybe finances;
Maybe others in your department have just left, and they were not yet replaced;
Or they were replaced, but the new recruits are still acclimating, so they’re not fully productive yet;
Or, all the above.
These circumstances, and only them, would be the exception to the rule, where you could indeed give an ultimatum and win it.
But, it would be a victory very short lived, and at a tremendously high price that will come back to bite you.
So a total Pyrrhic victory.
Why thou SHOULD'T give an ultimatum, even when thou COULD
Because your ultimatum “victory” would bring TWO DIFFERENT ADDITIONAL problems, on top of the initial two, we’ve already covered!
[That would make them the third and fourth reasons, why you shouldn’t give an ultimatum]
c. It won’t do you any good
It won’t get you anywhere! Why? because your boss can’t promise you – let alone guarantee – when the next opportunity for you will come up.
Why? Because your boss doesn’t know when the next relevant position will become available, if at all: it could be the next day, six months down the line, a year – who knows???
For a position to become available:
Somebody has to leave,
or get promoted,
or get fired,
or… an altogether new position would have to be formed…
So even if your boss would have liked to make you a promise, or some sort of a “pact”, in return for you “obliging” him or her with your stay, he or she cannot for those objective reasons!
These are OBJECTIVE REASONS: It’s just out of your boss’ control!
d. Your boss will hate you till the day you die!
Nobody likes being pushed over, all the more so, by a subordinate.
What do you think people feel when you manage to twist their arm?
Is this a good basis for a working relationship? Or any relationship, for that matter?
This is the epitome of a short term gain, that has a mid-term disaster, spelled all over it.
(So not even the long term – this will come back to haunt you, very quickly).
THE THIRD “DON’T” (out of 4), of what not to do immediately after being passed over, for a promotion and the pay raise that goes with it is:
3. DON’T BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!
This will be the worst you can do for yourself, or actually to yourself.
This one is so common you wouldn’t believe it, and it ties in directly with the first two Don’ts: Do not leave, Do not give an ultimatum.
People who understand they should not leave (although they want to),
and they understand they should not give an ultimatum (although they want to),
resort to being insufferable instead!
There is nothing worse than somebody pretending to be cool about something (not being promoted, in this case), when their entire constitution screams the exact opposite is true!
Think about it: If they’ve passed you over for promotion before, what is going to happen now?
You’ll never get it!
Why? Because no one will be able to stand you! And for a good reason!
At least be man enough, or woman enough, to acknowledge how you feel –not in an overly sharing way, but just admitting you’re upset.
AND, if you really think you have a case regarding the unfairness of being passed over – and I mean a FACTUAL case, not just an emotional one because you’re upset – then put your facts together and assert yourself to your boss and your colleagues.
[You will learn how to do so, later on on this Masterclass – there’s still much you need to do prior, for it to be effective. It’s like math – there’s an accumulative, progressive, system here, you need to master.]
Of course, once you assert yourself to your boss and your colleagues, you would still be out of that promotion, but it will start your campaign for the next time!
So trying to pretend you’re fine with not being promoted, and supposedly “play nice”, while spewing bitterness and resentment and being an all-around bad sports, will not ingratiate you to anyone.
On the contrary: you will probably get sacked in the next round of “downsizing”, and rightfully so.
Is that what you want???
Which is directly related to THE FOURTH and final [phew] “DON’T”, of what not to do immediately after being passed over for a promotion and the pay raise that goes with it:
4. DON’T BE QUICK TO BLAME IT ON YOUR IDIOT BOSS OR YOU EFFED UP COMPANY!
There are two issues here:
a. Maybe he/she is indeed exactly as you say (i.e., an idiot), but as long as you choose to work there (and you do indeed choose!), especially since you want a promotion and a pay raise, you need to figure out how to win in those very circumstances!
This is the sandbox you chose to play in – so learn to play! In this specific one!
And for that you need a long hard reality check, and a ton of introspection, long before casting the blame elsewhere!
Starting with:
b. You have to objectively analyze why you were passed over: Maybe the blame is on you…?
What did you do or not do that might have caused your boss to think you are not “management material”?
Was it in your delivery (quality, timeliness)?
Was it in your teamwork?
Was it your office politics (from communication to conflict management and more – actually teamwork belongs here to, in many ways) ?
So which of those was it?
Maybe all?
Just check to make sure you are not living in a glass house, before casting any stone.
And not to worry – this website will teach you all those things.
Thoroughly.
You will be able make yourself eligible for a promotion and a pay raise,
if you follow along, AND ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT.
Before we end this part of the Masterclass, just a short post-scriptum, I would be remiss to not mention:
Everything I said up till now, is true for both men and women. This one, however, is for the ladies only:
THE FIFTH, bonus, “DON’T” is: ladies, please, for the love of God:
5. DON’T CRY AT THE OFFICE!
Whatever it was that got you passed over for, crying, even if just a little sniffle, will just prove that point!
You crying, as a reaction to being passed over, will solidify your ineligibility, your undeservedness, in their minds, AND RIGHTFULLY SO.
It will be very hard to recover from.
Maybe impossible.
PROBABLY impossible.
So – don’t!
NEXT: PART 2/6
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