BusterBits
short clips from our long-form Masterclasses
(video & text)
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watch / read in order
"Mutual breakup".
Yeah, right.
Everybody will know if you are the dump-er or the dump-ee.
Can you stand the vitriol / HUMILIATION?
(Both worse if you're a man)
Sex and the Workplace Deck
below is a video clip + it’s full text
taken from the long-form Masterclass:
Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)
The Ultimate Guide
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Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)
“Mutual breakup”. Yeah, right.
What exacerbates this whole mess is that, even when you present it to everybody at the office as a “mutual breakup”, we all know there’s never really such a thing as a truly “mutual” breakup – or maybe there is, but it’s extremely rare.
Most always, there is one who wants the relationship to go on, more than the other, and eventually, one will initiate the break-up which will leave the other one deeply hurt. So, not exactly “mutual”.
You know it.
Your co-workers know it.
Your boss knows it.
So if you are the abandoned one, there is yet another compound burden on your psyche, the fourth one. Remember there’s the break-up itself, there is your deteriorating performance, and there is your diminished chance to get ahead in terms of promotion, or pay raise, or both – so that’s three crippling layers, and now the fourth one, which is: The shear humiliation of everybody knowing – that you are the abandoned one…
There’s no face-saving possible: Everybody knows everybody involved. If you don’t tell, Schmoopie might. And even if Schmoopie doesn’t tell, you wouldn’t have to be a particularly busy-body to guess the truth, merely observing your reactions to one another would be enough. So you’re an unintentional open book.
At least when this happens outside the office, (when you are abandoned and betrayed by your partner) you can both maintain better separation of your personal and professional lives, and keep your humiliation to yourself, and save face, at least during work hours.
In such a case, work can actually be a refuge. Here everything is tangled up…
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