Passed Over for Promotion & Pay Raise:
What To Do (and Not Do)
Right After
to Get Another Shot

Assert Yourself to Your Boss:
Say You Want It!

Out Laud!
(than say it again!)

So the no. 5 DO (what TO DO) right after being passed over for a promotion or a pay raise or both is:

5. assert yourself – to your boss and colleagues alike!

Why? Because an overlooked crucial part of GETTING things is verbalizing you want them: First to yourself, then to others.

Let me stress something here, because I would hate to be misunderstood,
on anything, but specifically on this one: When I say ‘a crucial part of getting things is verbalizing you want them’, this is not some “manifestation” bulshit
of some “Secret” con – there is no “secret” here in THAT regard! I can’t stress this enough!

oh wait, with them, it wasn’t verbalizing but posting on a vision board, and then just letting the universe come to you… okay…

By the way, no harm in doing a vision board, as long as you ACT on it: Make a plan, acquire the relevant skills and e-x-e-c-u-t-e whatever it is that will get you what’s on the board, which is the part they forgot to mention, so you have a generation of vision board-ers, sitting on their ass, passively, waiting for things to happen, which is the QUINTESSENTIAL OPPOSITE of what I’m saying – so much so I even coined a term for it: The Sleeping Beauty syndrome, but don’t get me started on that…

Just know that when and if I use the word “secret”, it’s only in its dictionary literal meaning: Something people don’t know. And in this case: Something most career coaches, consultants, and their ilk, don’t know either, nor understand, nor ever talk about –

An incompetent that drives me crazy, which is why I am compelled do what I do, and say what I say.

Okay, enough of that.

so back to the no. 5 DO (what TO DO) which is: Assert yourself – to your boss
and colleagues alike, AND the crucial part of GETTING things, which is verbalizing you want them.

Now, the fact that you say you want something, obviously does not mean you’re going to get it. The point is: If nobody knows that you want the…
blank – whatever it is – and it IS in THEIR power to grant it to you or not to grant it (so you are dependent on them), then, if you don’t verbalize it,
you’re stacking up the odds against yourself because they don’t know.

Not that if they knew, they would have automatically granted you the “thing”, of course not, but at least you would have been in the game,
in their head, through their decision making process!

this is true for anything you desire, where you are dependent on others in getting it, so it goes way beyond the realm of work alone.

[By the way, here’s a fun fact: Alfred Hitchcock, the acclaimed director, called it a “MacGuffin” – the thing that the hero is after, whatever it is that motivates him to go on his hero’s journey (or hers).

Since you are the hero in this story, your MacGuffin is that promotion and or pay raise.

Although, turns out, the creator of the MacGuffin was not Hitchcock but a British screenwriter by the name of Angus McPhail, who worked with Hitchcock.]

Anyway, the MacGuffin is a well-known term in film lingo ever since, so… there you go, some old-Hollywood trivia, that is pertinent to our discussion,
and that you may nonchalantly pull out of your sleeve, at some cocktail party.

Okay enough of that back to the salt mines…

The point is, if nobody knows what you want, what you’re after, what your MacGuffin is, trusting that people would somehow be able to look into your heart and know your desires – this is impractical. It is not based in reality.

People rarely get what they want in this Sleeping Beauty kind of way, where you are completely passive about it… even a lottery ticket… you still have to go out there and buy one!

So be active in all the ways I’m laying before you…
Now, even if people KNOW what your MacGuffin is – your boss first and foremost – or at the very least they SUPPOSES that you want that MacGuffin
(in our case: the promotion and pay raise), as long as you don’t articulate it to them, then, for all intents and purposes, especially in the eyes of your boss, you are the “good boy”  employee, the one who will quietly accept any outcome, being passed over included.

Therefore, your boss would rather give the promotion or pay raise, to the “bad boy” employee who keeps yapping about, it all day long, in a full-on
attrition warfare, and would give said boss hell, if he (or she) doesn’t get THEIR MacGuffin, which, unfortunately for you, happens to be the same as yours!

See how it all comes together with everything we’ve spoken  about, regarding your boss’ psychology?

To brush up on that, if you like, check out the link for part 1 in the description below.  

So to sum up, we’ve seen 3 reasons for the “assert yourself to your boss and colleagues alike” which is the no. 5 DO (what TO DO) right after being passed over for a promotion or a pay raise, or both:

1. technical, pragmatic reason, which is: If you don’t tell them – they don’t know.
2. a political reason for “assert yourself”, which is: If you don’t tell them they can pretend not to know, or they MAY assume you want it but ALSO assume
   you don’t want it as bad as the next guy or gal, who keep yapping about, it all day long.

a third reason why you should “assert yourself” is
3. the psychological one: “Good boys” finish last.

This one deserves some iteration, so for that, let’s go back to the parents and children analogy, we have used before. You know how parents say “no”,
until the child exhausts them, with a constant barrage of unbelievable nagging, until they finally say yes? This is similar to what a “bad boy” [employee] does and a “good boy” [employee] doesn’t.

You already know you have to have a “bad boy” employee mentality, so let THAT be your workplace north star.

Now let me add one last reason for “assert yourself”, no. 4 (which will conclude this video), so after the technical, the political, and the psychological, no. 4 is: Motivational

Once you state openly, overtly, and constantly: “I want that”, “this is what I’m after”, “this is what I’m here for”, AND you add: “I’m willing do whatever it takes to get there”- not in a psychopathic way of stepping all over people, or stabbing them at the back, but in a productive way, that signals and proves your sheer motivation:
“I’m willing to put in the extra work, I’m willing to bust my ass for this company, just tell me what to do and I’ll  do it, even at the expense of my personal life, comfort, energy, whatever it takes!”

No boss can stand in the way of such commitment and motivation! No one.

Now, I’m NOT telling you, you must sacrifice your personal life. It is your choice whether to do it, and if so – to what degree.

What I AM telling you is how it looks from the other side. I’m giving you a peek behind the curtain, to your boss’s perspective.

Armed with this understanding – make your own choices.