Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina.

You + Schmoopie =
Boss Problems

Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)

Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina.
You + Schmoopie = Office Romance Boss Problems!

When you go from being “Ben Affleck” and “Jennifer Lopez” to being “Bennifer” – you have a problem.

Same for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes becoming “TomKat”.

Being a “Power Couple” is great (if you’re into that kind of notoriety) BUT the joint brand is insidiously-yet-consistently chipping away at your respective individual brand, both during the relationship, and long after it’s over.

Indeed, when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez broke up, way back when, his career suffered badly – it took him years to get it back!

And when Katie Holmes embarked on her globe-trotting movie-like romance with Tom Cruise, her career took a huge hit and it took her years, as well, to put it back together, (arguably never achieving the same level of global celebrity, as before).

And what about (more recently) “Brangelina”? When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split up, it seemed both their brands suffered, though his probably more so, for various reasons.

It took him a good while to get back on the horse, and be recognized, once again, as an actor, rather than half of a former power couple.

All three of those break-ups are very telling in that there is always always a price to pay for the merging of your individual brand with that of your romantic partner.

And you might think, not being an A-list celebrity means this doesn’t apply to you, but you would be wrong!

While you, obviously, differ from them in money and fame, in the case of the professional fallout from a romantic breakup – not so much. Actually, not at all. Your office romance absolutely does put you in a Brangelina-like position, where the two of you Schmoopie-s are no longer considered TWO individual professionals, but ONE romantic couple.

The problem with that is that, branding-wise, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Thus, the more time you are an office couple, the higher the price each of you pays, in his or her perceived (and therefore actual) eligibility for a promotion and a pay raise.

Why? Well, there are two inconvenience truth bombs that answer this unequivocally. Stick around and find out!

Also, just like those ex power couples, you and your Schmoopie will not each pay the same price: One will pay a higher price. Are you sure, it’s not going to be you?

So, what is the lesson to all you Bennifer-s, TomKat-s, and Brangelina-s out there? Simple: have fun. But know that, 9 out of 10, there will be hell to pay, in term of your chances for a promotion and a pay raise.

Now, I’m not telling you what to do – (not that if I would you’d listen, because an office romance is of one of those things… If you’re both single and you’re attracted to one another nothing anyone says will make any difference… and hey it’s your life and your choice – do whatever you want.

I’m just laying before you, the consequences of what you do (and don’t) regarding your office romance so that you can make an informed choice, vis-à-vis your aspiration for said promotion and pay raise.

It’s a trade-off game, like most everything in life. How so? The answer is in office romance BossProblem no. 6:
6. A “Brangelina” joint brand, overrides your individual one.

Now, before I explain why this happens, let me just address the fact that a lot of you may be twitching their noses, the second you hear anything about “branding”.

[And not the cute Bewitched nose twitch, by the wonderful Elizabeth Montgomery ( by the way, the daughter of actor Robert Montgomery, from Hollywood’s gilded age), but a nose twitch of repugnance and disdain. ]

That is because you’re thinking of that obnoxious teammate, who keeps pushing themselves to the forefront, in all the wrong ways: All sorts of contrived, inorganic, annoying, ways.

But that’s not “branding” – that’s bad branding.

It’s like hating food because you had a bad dish. You still need to eat to survive, let alone thrive, and the same goes for branding: You need to brand yourself professionally, to survive, let alone thrive, in the workplace. It is the execution that makes the difference in both cases (branding and culinary).

“Branding” is who people think you are. What they think your essence is. People always, a-l-w-a-y-s, form an idea about who you are, mostly subconsciously.

This involuntary, automatic branding takes place within any group of people. Thus, it is an integral part of the human condition.

Therefore, twitching your nose at it, in repugnance and disdain, is silly and counterproductive. Especially if you’re a driven, motivated employee, whom aspires for a promotion and a pay raise, which are, by definition, dependent on how you are being perceived, i.e., your brand, which is why it is so important to see how your office romance can negatively impact it.

I’ll do a deep dive into this very important, and very intricate subject, on a separate Deck. But for now, just know that, as we speak, your “brand” is being revised. Both your boss and your coworkers are re-branding you, to accommodate for the change in your personal status: From a professional individual to a romantic couple.

Now, as to the “Brangelina” joint brand, overriding your individual one: This happens through two completely intertwined processes, simultaneously:
1. The fusion of both of your “brand”s into one, and
2. The dilution and the blurring of your individual brands.

Each one, onto itself, already puts your aspiration for a promotion and a pay raise in jeopardy, all the more so, the combination of both. In this combination, you take on whatever branding your schmoopie has, on top of your own, for better or worse.

Thus, there are four optional result to this merging of your brands (it’s a classic 2×2 table):

a. both of you schmoopie-s have a positive “brand”, which is now being integrated into a “Power Couple”, a “Brangelina” :
The king and queen of the office (or two kings, or two queens, whatever).
This sounds desirable, but if you are both driven for a promotion, or a pay raise, or both, this is actually quite problematic, as I’ve hinted in the beginning, and as we’ll see in a moment.

The second optional result of merging your brands is that:
b. your Schmoopie has a meh “brand” which is now being integrated into your positive “brand”
In this case, your brand is automatically diminished, so you lose, in terms of your aspiration for a promotion and a pay raise.

(By the way, for the sake of this example I’ve assumed that here is no option for either you or your Schmoopie to have a negative brand, because had it been the case, you would have probably been fired by now, hence the meh grade as the only opposite of a positive brand).

The third optional result of merging your brands is that:
c. your Schmoopie has a positive “brand”, which is now being integrated into your meh “brand”
In this case, you are elevated, so you win, but your Schmoopie loses.

Please note that, this “elevation” so to speak is not of the kind that will transform you from being ineligible for a promotion and a pay raise, to now suddenly being eligible, just by the sheer power of your new found “Brangelina” status. Rather, the elevation is in this case a social issue in essence.

The fourth and final optional result of merging your brands is that:
d. both of you are branded “meh”
In the best case scenario for you, nothing changes. And in the worst case scenario for you, you two become the “meh couple”, which is really embarrassing, but not really relevant for this discussion, because if you were both meh to begin with, you were probably either not driven (in character), or not eligible (in performance and potential), for a promotion and a pay raise, to begin with – regardless of your office romance.

So, to sum of this point up: The more time you are a couple, as coworkers, at the same workplace, the more of a “Brangelina” you guys become.

Which means an ever more blending of both of your individual brands, to the point of them being further and further diluted and blurred disappearing into the fused, joint brand.