Office Romance Problem: What If It Ends?
The Fix: Sign a Prenup!
(kinda sorta) 1/2

Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)

Office Romance Problem: What If It Ends?
The Fix: Sign a Prenup! 
(kinda sorta) 1/2

OK, now we get to a controversial fix Fix number three is going to sound surreal, but hear me out – remember, I’m geared only in your favor! I have nothing to gain, by you doing this, or not doing this.

So, here it is: No. 3. Sign a “prenup”.

Relax!
You don’t literally have to sign it.
Secondly, I’m not talking about a legal document.
Thirdly, you’re not getting married, as of yet, so obviously it’s not a literal pre-nuptial. It is just a term we all know, so I’m using it to help you, instantaneously, get the gist of it. Hence on, let’s call it a POR a Pre-Office-Romance agreement.
Fourthly, it doesn’t even have to be an “agreement” per se, as long as it is a discussion [an open, and periodically revisited, discussion] between you two. When should you implement it? The moment your relationship become “serious”.

Now, what does such a POR (Pre-Office-Romance) agreement / discussion, consists of? Anything and everything, that might arise between you two.

And don’t worry, it doesn’t all have to be upfront. It is a dynamic thing: You can add to it, detract from it, redact it, so – change it as you go along, and as circumstances at the office, as well as in your relationship, evolve or change.

So the POR I’m proposing consists of whatever you want it to. However, assuming you are both driven professionals, there are three initial issues, that are not optional so you must address them:

1. Who would leave, if it came to it?

2. Who would apply for a promotion, or make the boss aware that they are seeking one, since you cannot both get it [ we have discussed this in depth here if you’d like a reminder] so who would apply should the opportunity arise? (And it will arise, sooner or later. So, the longer your office romance goes on for, the more probable, this is an issue you will encounter).

The 3rd initial issues you must address in your POR (Pre-Office-Romance) agreement / discussion is:
3. What happens if one of you gets a pay raise higher than the other one? How would this affect your relationship with each other, and with your boss? Here are some considerations, to help you navigate all these intricate matters.

For example a consideration you could discuss and agree on, to help you navigate the first awkward issue I mentioned before which was: Whom would have to leave if you came to it… well, such a consideration could be, Seniority at the company as a whole, and specifically, at the current position. You can decide whatever you want on how this consideration plays out for example, the more senior one would stay. Or maybe the more senior one would leave – because maybe they have a better chance of finding another job elsewhere…

So the key to creating your very own POR, completely custom made, by you two, for you two, is: think of the issues that might arise, at the intersection of your career ambitions and the relationship and then think of considerations to help you come up with a potential solution to that potential issue that seems reasonable to you two [hey I didn’t say it was easy I said it was smart].

The whole point is to have an open discussion about those very likely realities, while the relationship is going well. Because it is only during these times, that you can actually come up with fair and reasonable solutions to these intricate and awkward issues. Once everything goes sour, between Schmoopie-s of any relationship, not just you guys, it gets to be about revenge or screwing up the other party, which is why this whole POR agreement / discussion I’m suggesting made in the honeymoon phase of your relationship is really not as surreal as you might have originally thought.

And I know it’s a bit out there, but I’m putting the rationale before you…
Remember, the whole point of this deck, of this entire Pay Raise Commando channel is to tell you things nobody else will. Ever.