Office Romance Problem: What If It Ends?
The Fix: Sign a Prenup!
(kinda sorta) 2/2

Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)

Office Romance Problem: What If It Ends?
The Fix: Sign a Prenup! 
(kinda sorta) 2/2

Think of it like buying insurance: Nobody wants to think about the possibility of their apartment being burglarized or their car catching up on fire there are so many horrible things that can happen in life, but you still are forced to think about them at least once a year when you sign up on a new policy.

And of course, like insurance like POR, it doesn’t always pay – when push comes to shove, you might find out that what you thought was covered, actually is not. But you still take out an insurance policy because it will hopefully cover at least some of the potential unpleasant realities so you figure it’s better than nothing. Same here, with the POR.

Here is another example. This one is of a consideration you could discuss and agree on, to help you navigate the second awkward issue I mentioned before which was: whom gets to apply for a promotion, when the opportunity arises, assuming you are both ambitious .

So for example, a consideration here could be: How central, this current position you’re holding, and the coveted next position, are for either of you. Maybe for one of you, this is a dream job, at a dream company, and maybe for the other it is not. Maybe they are not even sure if they want to continue in this field, in this industry. In such a case, the one whose dream it is, should get priority. It just makes sense.

Of course such clear a difference in career aspirations, makes things simple. But what if it’s a dream job for both of you? If this is the case with you guys, it’s a conundrum, with no good way out. This is exactly what the bonus, no. 8 office romance BossProblem, was all about: How and why your lover could become your competitor. (Check it out here if you’d like a reminder).

And here is another example, the last one for today.

This one is of a consideration you could discuss and agree on, to help you navigate that same second awkward issue regarding whom gets to apply for a promotion when the opportunity arises since you cannot both have it, and you probably wouldn’t want to compete with one another at least not so overtly so here, another consideration could be: Whom is the favorite, for that promotion?

For example, the one who has the odds on his or her side – gets the priority, over the other, in applying. “favorite” would be the one of you with the most skills, and training, and education, required for that next position and the acknowledgement of the boss of those capabilities, and so forth. Use this framework to build your own POA (Pre-Office-Romance) agreement. Mix and match it, as need be.

To be frank, though, I sadly do not really expect you would do so. Why? 5 reasons:

I. It is a novel, unorthodox, idea. There are very few people willing to break the mold. And, honestly, those who are, are usually not employees, but rather self-employed, entrepreneurs.

II. It is not romantic, to say the least. And you are in the midst of the most romantic phase, your relationship would ever be in. It is not called the “honeymoon” phase for nothing.

III. It is intimidating for a new couple, such as yourselves because it brings to the forefront , everything that could go wrong between you two, therefore, you, naturally, don’t want to think or talk about it.

IV. You think this couldn’t possibly happen to you. If and when you [Heaven forbid] ever break up, it couldn’t possibly get that nasty, that would necessitate a POR that was signed (literally or figuratively, as you choose) when you were still very much in love because your love is different: You would always want nothing but the best for Schmoopie. Even once you’re not together anymore! Every couple in love, whom ever walked the Earth, thought (and thinks) the same…

And finally, v. There is no legal, or proprietorial incentive. [of property] You have no communal assets, that could be valued monetarily, as readily as in a prenup. What would you put in, instead? The potential monetary benefit, of a potential promotion, and a potential pay raise, You could but they are not as tangible, relative to a deed for a house, for example.

Theoretically, I guess you could appraise almost anything. So, you could appraise the potential loss of employment, for example, should you be the one whom had to leave, once you broke up. Same for the lost earning capacity, should you be the one whom conceded to your Schmoopie’s priority in applying for that promotion. But that gets to be too academic, and I’m all about everything pragmatic, as you know by now so there is no need to go as far as that with your POR.

However do not use this last reason or any of the other five, to overrule a POR altogether- one day you might regret it, so… sleep on it OK, that’s it for today As you can tell we are doing The Big Fix as in-depth, and as meticulously, as we did the mapping and analyzing of all the 7 + 1 office romance BossProblems Join me next time, when The Big Fix marches on!