Your Boss Will
Pass You BOTH Over
(It's Just Easier)

Office Romance Problems Effects & Etiquette (DOs & DON’Ts)

Your Boss Will Pass You Both Over (It’s Just Easier)

Look, obviously true love – if this is what you and Schmoopie have – is worth a lot, for most people. 

Of course, it is more sustainable when you can put food on the table, than when you can’t… But hey, you do you!

Which reminds me I’ve always differed with the otherwise heavenly Westley when he says to Buttercup [The Princess Bride, duh] after he asks her why she didn’t wait for him, and she says: “Well… you were dead”, to which he replies: “Death cannot stop true love”…

Yeah, well… You know what Westley? Maybe death cannot stop true love, but we all know life sure as hell can, and does, every day of the week, every year on the calendar, and has been doing so, ever since humankind has begun, so…

I’m just infusing some reality checks here… I’m sure you appreciate that… Me blowing up all your hopes and dreams, regarding your office romance… (You’re welcome). But, hey, again, to each their own. It’s all good.

Which brings us to the second half of the no. 7 and final (except for the bonus next time). So… the second half of the no. 7 office romance BossProblem, which is the personal one. 

Up till now we saw the professional half of no. 7 which was: If Both Of You Are Eligible – NONE Of You Is Getting It! Now, it’s time for the personal half, and here, the inconvenient truth bomb is: If You Are Both Equally Driven – Your Lover Is Actually Your Competitor!

Why? Because, as we’ve seen in the first half, it’s never going to be both of you for a promotion. And, as we’ve seen in the previous video, there are usually not that many (relevant) promotions to go around, at any given time. Mostly it’s one at a time, just one at a time so it is a zero-sum game between the two of you, even if you do not mean it to be.

Now, in regards to pay raises, it’s also tricky, but somewhat less so. Pay raises (and bonuses) can be given to multiple employees, from the same team, simultaneously. Still, even here, you, as a couple are not out of The Fire Swamp (I can’t help it) or the woods, if you will, of petty jealousy and resentment between lovers (which is very human and natural, actually), because those pay raises would not usually be exactly the same amounts for both of you…

Or, if you are both eligible, but not completely equally so: Say you are slightly better than your Schmoopie, (professionally speaking) and say you are both getting a pay raise. Is yours going to be higher, as it should be? No! Your boss would rather lower your raise, to match your Schmoopie’s decidedly lower raise.

Your boss might have given you a higher pay raise than your Schmoopie’s, had you not been a couple. But since you are, he or she would, again, prefer not to “rock” your couple-hood “boat”, by potentially invoking said jealousy and resentment, between you two.

And not for the sake of sparing your emotions, but for the sake of sparing your boss’, and the potential headache and hassle of dealing with it. (Which, to be fair, is also very human and natural. So it’s not that your boss is necessarily horrible. We are all looking to make our lives easier. )

Now, the PC thing to say… [I abhor Political Correctness] but the PC thing to say is “if you really love her/him, you will be happy for them” when they get the promotion you also wanted, and you don’t ;
Or when they get the pay raise you also wanted, and you don’t ;
Or when they get a pay raise which is higher than the one you got, with you thinking you deserved the same, at least… Which is true, of course.

But, let’s face it: It is easier to be happy for someone, even a loved one, when their success is not at the expense of your success. And this is at your expense, as we’ve just seen, even though your Schmoopie didn’t mean for it to be so, and it’s not their fault – it wasn’t even their decision, it’s your boss’ … still.

Indeed, your office romance is more likely than not, to cost you on all fronts! Both the professional fronts: The promotion one, and the pay raise one, and the personal front, i.e., your relationship with Schmoopie.

A lot of food for thought. So let’s wrap this up here.