When you go from being “Ben Affleck” and “Jennifer Lopez” to being “Bennifer” – you have a problem. Same for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes becoming “TomKat”. Being a “Power Couple” is great, (if you’re into that kind of notoriety), BUT, the joint branding is insidiously-yet-consistently chipping away at your respective individual branding, both during the relationship, and long after it’s over.   

Indeed, when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez broke up, way back when, his career suffered badly – it took him years to get it back! And when Katie Holmes embarked on her whirlwind movie-like romance with Tom Cruise, her career took a huge hit, and it took her years, as well, to put it back together, arguably never achieving the same level of global celebrity, as before.

And what about, more recently, “Brangelina”? When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split up, it seemed both their brands suffered, though his probably more so, for various reasons. It took him a good while to get back on the horse, and be recognized, once again, as an actor, rather than half of a former power couple.

All three of those break-ups are very telling, in that there is always a price to pay, for the merging of your individual brand with that of your romantic partner.

And you might think, not being an A-list celebrity means, this doesn’t apply to you, but you would be wrong. While you, obviously, differ from them in money and fame, in the case of the professional fallout of a breakup – not so much. Actually, not at all.

Your office romance absolutely does put you in a Brangelina-like position, where you two schmoopie-s are no longer considered two individual professionals, but one romantic couple.

The problem with that is that, branding wise, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Thus, the more time you are an office couple, the higher the price each of you pay, in his or her perceived eligibility, for a pay raise and/or a promotion.
Why? Well, there are two inconvenience truth bombs that answer this unequivocally. Stick around and find out!

Also, just like those ex power couples, you and your schmoopie will not each pay the same price. One will pay a higher price. Are you sure, it’s not going to be you?

Hey Busters, welcome back!

So, what is the lesson to all you Bennifer-s, TomKat-s, and Brangelina-s out there? Simple: If you must – you must … what can anyone say? You’re not going to listen anyway. (To be fair, in such instances, none of us would). So, the lesson is: Have fun. But know that, 9 out of 10, there will be hell to pay, in term of your chances for a promotion and a pay raise.

Which is exactly what we do on this channel: I’m not telling you what to do – it’s your life and your choice – do whatever you want. I’m just laying before you, the consequences of what you do (and don’t) – in the case of this Deck, it’s your office romance – so that you can make an informed choice,  vis-à-vis your aspiration for said promotion and pay raise. It’s a trade-off game, like most everything else in life.

How so? Office romance BossProblem no. 6 holds the answer:

6. A “Brangelina” joint branding, overrides your individual one

Now, before I explain why this happens, let me just address the fact that a lot of you may be twitching your noses, the second you hear anything about “branding”.

And not the cute Bewitched nose twitch, by the wonderful Elizabeth Montgomery (the daughter of Robert Montgomery, from Hollywood’s gilded age, by the way), but a nose twitch of repugnance and disdain.

And that is because you’re thinking of that obnoxious teammate, who keeps pushing themselves to the forefront, in all the wrong ways: All sorts of contrived, inorganic, annoying, ways. But that’s not “branding” – that’s bad branding.

It’s like hating food because you had a bad dish. You still need to eat to survive, let alone thrive, and the same goes for branding: You need to brand yourself professionally, to survive, let alone thrive, in the workplace. It is the execution that makes the difference in both cases (branding and culinary).

“Branding” is who people think you are. What they think your essence is. People always, a-l-w-a-y-s, form an idea about who you are, mostly subconsciously. This involuntary, automatic branding takes place within any group of people. Thus, it is an integral part of the human condition.

Therefore, twitching your nose at it, in repugnance and disdain, is silly and counterproductive. Especially if you’re a driven employee, whom aspires  for a promotion and a pay raise. Those are, by definition, dependent on how you are being perceived, i.e., your branding, which is why it is so important to see how your office romance can negatively impact it.

I’ll do a deep dive into this very important, and very intricate subject, on a separate Deck. But for now, just know that, as we speak, your “brand” (which is the result of said branding) is being revised. Both your boss and your coworkers are re-branding you, to accommodate for the change in your personal status: From a professional individual to a romantic couple.

Now, as to this office romance BossProblem no. 6  of a “Brangelina” joint branding, overriding your individual one: This happens through two completely intertwined processes, simultaneously:

1. The fusion of both of your “brand”s into one
   2. The dilution and the blurring of your individual brands

Each one, onto itself, already puts your aspiration for a promotion and a pay raise in jeopardy, all the more so, the combination of both.

In this combination, you take on whatever branding your schmoopie has, on top of your own, for better or worse. Thus, there are four options here (it’s a classic 2×2 table):

1. both of you schmoopie-s have a positive “brand”, which is now being integrated into a “Power Couple”, a “Brangelina”: The king and queen of the office (or two kings, or two queens, whatever).

This sounds desirable, but if you are both driven for a promotion, or a pay raise, or both, this is actually quite problematic, as we’ll see in a moment.

1. your schmoopie has a meh “brand”, which is now being integrated into your positive “brand” – in this case, your brand is automatically diminished, so you lose, in terms of your aspiration for a promotion and/or a pay raise.

(By the way, for the sake of this example I assume that had their brand been completely negative, they would have been fired by now, hence the meh).

1. your schmoopie has a positive “brand”, which is now being integrated into your meh “brand” – in this case, you are elevated, so you win, but your schmoopie loses.

Please note that, this “elevation” is not of the kind that will transform you from being ineligible for a promotion and a pay raise, to now suddenly being eligible, just by the sheer power of your new found   “Brangelina” joint branding. Rather, your status elevation, in this case, is social in essence.

1. both of you are branded “meh”, so at the best case scenario for you, nothing changes. At the worst case scenario for you, you become the “meh couple”, which is really embarrassing, but not really relevant for this discussion, because if you were both meh to begin with, you were probably either not driven (in character), or not eligible (in performance and potential), for a promotion and/or a pay raise, to begin with – regardless of your office romance.

To sum of this point up:

The more time you are a couple, as coworkers, at the same workplace, the more of a “Brangelina” you guys become. Which means an ever more blending of both of your individual brands, to the point of them disappearing into the fused, joint, one, which, then, perpetuates the above.

1. But what about that “Brangelina”, “Power Couple” option? That sounds desirable, right? Wrong!

As I’ve hinted before, being the “king and queen” of the office, is not all it’s cracked up to be. Yeah, it may land you the dubious “starring” role on the department’s grapevine, but it will push you away from landing that promotion and pay raise you so want.

Why? Because, (and here is the main point) pay raises and promotions are based on your individual brand. Why? Because, pay raises and promotions are given to individuals, not couples. Plain and simple.

Thus, even in this best-case scenario, with both of you bringing a positive branding to the joint one, and supposedly creating a doubly  positive joint brand, it still ends up being a worst-case scenario to each of your individual aspirations.

When you two schmoopie-s are no longer considered individual professionals, but a romantic couple, the damage you suffer is double:

1. You have both moved from being regarded as individuals, to being regarded as a couple, and, as we’ve just seen, pay raises and promotions are not given to couples, only to individuals. So, there’s no way you can both get either.
2. You have both moved from being regarded as professionals, to being regarded as romantic partners, which is a counterproductive digression from the focus you are supposed to have at work, and for which, pay raises and promotions are given. So, once again, you both lose: That’s a negative double whammy for your chances.

So, there are two issues here: Personal and professional.

The personal is the first inconvenience truth bomb I promised you in the beginning this post, which is: If you’re both driven employees, whom aspire for a promotion and a pay raise, you become de facto competitors of one another…

In regards to Promotions, the situation is extra tricky, because usually,
there are not that many to go around, at any given time, meaning there’s probably only one promotion potential, at any given time, so you’ll never be able to both win one, at least not at the same time.

So suppose one of you will be promoted. How would that impact your relationship?

And in regard to pay raises – here the picture is somewhat rosier, because it is possible for more than one person to get a pay raise at any given time. But, it is less likely, that each and every pay raise will be exactly the same, which once again, may put you in a bind, as a co-working couple.

Now, this is not a Dear Abby kinda Deck, so I’m not going to go into this, or any, personal aspect of your relationship, here. However, I will address it in the next, and final, installment of this Sex and the Workplace Deck, we’re I’ll bring everything home, with all the possible fixes and solutions, to all the office romance BossProblems I’ve presented – so be sure to it check out here and I’ll put the link in the description as well.

The professional issue is the second inconvenience truth bomb I promised you in the beginning this post, which is, just like all along this Deck, and just as this office romance BossProblem no. 6, which is the focus of this entire video, states: A “Brangelina” joint branding, overrides your individual one. Thus, your chances of getting that promotion and pay raise, are, once again, severely compromised.

Why?

Well, this fusion of both of your “brands” into one, together with the dilution and the blurring of both your individual brands, make it hard for either of you to differentiate yourself, to distinguish yourself from one another (you and your schmoopie). And that’s on top of the regular differentiation that any candidate needs to have, from any other eligible co-worker in the team – so you, now, have a double burden laid on you…

Therefore, it is also hard for your boss to notice, acknowledge, and appreciate your singular, unique, individual contribution, to the point of erasing it altogether.

Furthermore, when you get to a “Brangelina” status (or, at least, a poor man’s version of it), human nature kicks in: Our brains tend to perceive things, to make sense of things, through converging them into patterns. This fact is represented in the well-known idiom: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Now, apply that to you and your schmoopie.

The practical meaning being that, a “Brangelina” is subconsciously perceived – because of its sheer power – as being bigger then the two coworkers it consists of. Ergo, you guys must be “smaller”, so that if you were to break the couple up, you would not be left with two very powerful employees, but with two meh employees.

This is the subconscious perception of everybody around you at work, including your boss, regardless of whether which is true or not.

Obviously this is a huge blow to either of your aspiration for a pay raise and a promotion, because your boss will be the one making the call regarding your promotion and pay raise, and what boss will give either to a meh employee? (Let alone two meh employees…)

Further yet, if you were previously, prior to your office romance with your coworker, considered eligible, or potentially eligible, or on the track to being eligible, for a pay raise and a promotion, then such a result to your “Brangelina” status is even more devastating. Because now it seems like you’ve regressed in your eligibility. It is somehow dimmer, or as we’ve said before: It is diluted and blurred, in comparison to what it was before your office romance. So… once again, not good for your chances.

Think of it as a workplace “reasonable doubt”, akin to the legal one we see on all those TV dramas: It’s not that your boss has to think you’re ineligible, to rule you out of that promotion and pay  raise. He only needs to be uncertain about whether you are eligible!

This serves as a “reasonable doubt” regarding what it is, exactly, you specifically bring to the table. And since your brand is now dimmed, diluted, blurred – that would be enough. That would be the “reasonable doubt” against you. Sad, but true.

Now, is it possible that your heightened profile, due to your “Brangelina” status, will make you more eligible, just because you’re more visible to your boss? Yeah, it’s possible. Everything is possible in life, and in the workplace. But it’s not very probable, for all the reasons I’ve laid before you, all along this Deck. And even if it were possible it’s only for one of you, not both…

But, hey, you want to take that chance? By all means, take it! As I always say, I’m just giving you the facts nobody else will, so that you can make an informed decision. The rest is on you.