In the previous part, Your boss dreads you after snubbing you – use it!, we’ve seen that your boss is very vulnerable, after passing YOU over for a promotion, or a pay raise or both, even more so than you are, which at first might have sound odd and impossible, but I think by the end of it, you were convinced.

Now we’ll see, how this vulnerability of his is your “IN”, in the quest to
rehabilitate and re-build your crushed position in your department, i.e.   
you will learn how to use it to your advantage!

Let me give you the quickest TLDR on that: you need to be a “bad boy” employee – full stop.

What is a “bad boy” employee, you ask? Ah! This is the tell that didn’t watch / read  Your boss dreads you after snubbing you – use it! You really MUST watch that first – if you don’t, you will have no context and no foundation to this part, so go back, watch / read that, then come back – I’ll be waiting. And for those of you who have seen it already – great! Let’s get straight to business:

We have 8 Dos, no less, of what TO DO, after being passed over for a promotion or a pay raise or both.

The no. 1 DO you already know – we did a deep dive into it above,
and that is:

1. Understand your boss’ psychology, and how it can work to your advantage.

Now let’s take this understanding of your boss’ psychology, this PSYCHOLOGICAL sophistication that you now possess, and convert it into a POLITICAL sophistication.

[Whenever I say a “political” I refer only to office politics – nothing else]

This POLITICAL sophistication is priceless, because it enables you to navigate more astutely in the whitewater rapids that are office politics.

And THAT is crucial because it is THAT navigation that will get you that promotion and/or pay raise that you’re so desperate to have!

And, thus, the second DO right after being passed over for a promotion,
or a pay raise, or both is indeed the conclusion of that first DO and that is:

2. Be a “bad boy” employee

As we’ve seen in part 2 above, there’s the paradox of the “good boy” employee versus the “bad boy” employee, so by now you KNOW which one will work for your advantage and why…

But what would that actually look like?
What would your boss’ appeasement (of you) potentially be?
Here are some options:

Maybe your boss will give you some new responsibilities that you would indeed like to have
or
maybe LESS of the responsibilities you DON’T like.

Maybe a degree of control over projects that are near and dear to you (if you didn’t have any before), 
or
a greater degree of control (if you already had some)
or
maybe even a lead role in a tent-pole project, making you a true linchpin.  
Sounds good doesn’t it?

Moreover, if you succeed in those new projects and responsibilities, it would be a proof-of-concept of your managerial and even leadership skills, which is bound to help you in the next round, of a race to that coveted promotion.

So think of it as a consolation prize – it’s not the first  prize you wanted, but it’s better than nothing, especially if it is within the general direction you wanted to go.

So, being a “bad boy employee” will, potentially, get you everything you wanted, in a much easier and straightforward way, than you could have
ever expected, PLUS, it could be a real boost to you at this time, after being passed over, both psychologically and practically.

Now, it’s worth noting – and as a realist I would be remiss not to mention it: no one can say, FOR SURE, what your boss may or may not do, FOR SURE. It depends on a complex matrix of a billion moving parts, which is why I CAN’T promise you anything – NOBODY can!
BUT, isn’t it worth a shot? Especially when you compare it to where you are right now…?

Which brings us to the third DO, right after being passed over for a promotion, or a pay raise, or both:

3. Getting the “bad boy” employee mentality, right

Remember we said it’s about political SOPHISTICATION? The sophistication is the “what”, the concept, the core. Then you have the subtleties and degrees of subtleties which are the “how”, the execution.

This is tricky and may take some practice to get it right. Especially if you’re used to being the “good boy” employee, and now you find yourself needing to completely switch your entire workplace mentality.
So let me help you there.

There are 5 tools here:

First and foremost is to remember what “bad boy” employee mentality is NOT, and it is NOT 2 things:

(a) it is  NOT being disrespectful to your boss or a jerk to everybody else. Absolutely not! You should always be respectful to your boss (well, to everybody, for that matter) – 

But (and this is b) respectful ALSO does not mean being subservient, or
a doormat, or anything that is spineless. Remember that!

This is the precise spot where “good boy” employees get lost and mess it up for themselves!

Which leads to the second tool to getting the “bad boy” employee mentality right: What ‘respect’ IS!

Here’s my definition – (tell me in the comments if you agree and if I left something out)

‘Respect’ is, addressing one – anyone – with an acknowledgement of him or her as humans, then, acknowledging their title through the rights and privileges that go with it.

(So in the case of your boss, obviously he has the right to tell you what to do at the office, for example. You can try to influence him on that, but you must accept, and respect, that this is within his prerogative.)

Another aspect of ‘respect’ is meeting people (obviously your boss included, as we are focused on your relationship with him) — meeting people at eye level, and going into each and every interaction with an a priori goodwill intent. That’s it!

Now, the next step after giving respect is: getting it! Being able to COMMAND respect from others (your boss included).

And indeed, everything you hear / read on this, our, website, including what we’re talking about right now, has a through line of just that.

So finding this fine line between being respectful TO others, and
being respected BY others, through commanding respect —

(You know how some people project that they are not to be trifled with
not in violent way of course well, there is that, but that’s not the case here, but with something in their air and countenance)

So finding this fine line between the two, is exactly where the psychological sophistication, and political, and behavioral sophistication, will need to come into place. These are the subtleties, and the degrees of subtleties, that I mentioned before.

And speaking of which, here’s a fun fact for you: People like getting respect from people they THEMSELVES respect – they don’t care about getting respect from some spineless doormat – of course that person gives them respect – that person does so to anyone who has a bit of a backbone, so that’s no big deal. However, getting respect from someone who commands respect themselves – whoa, now you’re talking!

Which goes back to the “bad boy” / “good boy” paradox, from yet another angle: Respect, begets respect, begets respect. Spinelessness, begets pity. And that’s from good-hearted people, whereas it evokes maliciousness, in assholes.

And by the way, even those good-hearted people… they may feel a need to protect the spineless person, but no respect, even from them.

The only way to receive it is to COMMAND it.

The third tool to getting the “bad boy” employee mentality right is:
Being goal oriented.

How? Set a clear goal, and keep repeating it in your head: your goal is to
start paving a NEW road for a promotion and/or a pay raise.

Why new? Well obviously the last one didn’t work…

How? By course-correcting on most everything you did, or did not do,
prior to your unsuccessful bid, starting with everything on this Masterclass series.

The fourth tool to getting the “bad boy” employee mentality right is:
Be pragmatic.

If you want to achieve your goal, you need your entire decision-making process to be compatible with that goal. And since your goal is  to make sure you are not passed over the next time around, this takes precedence over everything else at the workplace!

So for example, if your colleagues are saying “hey let’s go out for lunch it’ll be fun”, but you have a deadline you want to meet – order in and eat at your desk or, bring food from home.  

Yes it may cost you a bit in social currency but it’s a price you have to pay.

(I didn’t say you’d liked it. I’m just telling you what you need to do
realistically, without the customary b**s*** fluff)

Or maybe – here’s another example you may not like but must do – maybe you would have preferred, not to work with a certain colleague
you don’t really like, on a specific assignment or project, so were it not
for your focus on your goal, you might have tried to convince someone else to come on-board, and would have wasted tons of time and effort on it, or you would’ve tried to relieve yourself from that assignment or project using whatever excuse you could, but you realized that since that colleague is willing and available, then working with him or her
is the pragmatic thing to do, as it will enable you to deliver on time,
so you talk yourself into this “partnership” – because it’s not about
your preferences or your emotions! It’s about the goal!

Thus, keeping your focus on the goal is the “what”, and pragmatism is the “how” that enables said “what”.

The fifth and final tool to getting the “bad boy” employee mentality right is: Doing the internal, introspective work.

This is crucial because putting on a show of you supposedly being a “bad boy”, when you are actually a “good boy” employee, won’t do. People will see right through you. They won’t buy it.

And besides, we’ve already established in the 4 don’ts (part 1) that you’re not that good an actor…

What you need is, to be comfortable in your “bad boy” skin, so that it would come off as natural, and as organic as possible, PLUS you need to be CONFIDENT for it to work – otherwise your boss will call your bluff!

You cannot “fake it ’till you make it” in this case – BUT, you CAN get there gradually overtime – not too much time though, to not lose momentum. So weeks. Months tops. Not years.

This is, again, the whole sophistication and subtlety, I mentioned before:
It’s not about changing your spots so much, as it is about making sure you show them who you really are, which is exactly why you need to do the internal, introspective, work, before manifesting it to others.

The more your inside will become a true “bad boy” employee, in the sense I have described it, the more natural and authentic it will come out as, in your dealings with your boss, and everybody else at the office.